Democracy, Thai style

I'm going to make a prediction a few months out from the event - which is always dangerous - but I'd put money on yet another judicial or military coup in Thailand before the summer's out. Prime Minister Abhisit - who went to Eton & Oxford - is in the process of winding up the parliament in advance of an early-ish (it was due in December) election in Thailand.

Here's a fact for you. No parliament in the history of the Thai state has run a full term. The occasional fall through scandal (the Democrat government of the 80s for example for a land zoning rumpus), a few snap elections as we'd get in the UK and more often than not a military coup. 18 so far, if memory serves me right.

Ever since Thaksin tapped into the unstoppable power of the rural vote, his parties (Thai Rak Thai, People's Power Party, Puea Thai) have won every election. The Thai judiciary, gently prompted by the palace, has outlawed the first two iterations, but chances are very much that the next government will have Puea Thai as the main government party again after the election.

So can the palace/judiciary/army just this once accept the will of the Thai electorate? Probably not. Favourite would be a judicial coup - outlawing either the Puea Thai party or its leaders (Thaksin's sister is on the ballot and would be a good bet to lead a Puea Thai administration). This would probably be backed up by a typical Thai state of emergency, which would entail shooting various people in red shirts. So just be careful with your wardrobe colour co-ordinating if you're going there on holiday.

The western powers are only too happy to do business with Thailand as a 'liberal democracy', despite the fact that it's neither liberal nor democratic. It has never let any government stand that the old establishment interests - the monarchy, the military and the judiciary - didn't like.

Sure the army shot a few of its own people last year, but that Abhisit chap seems awfully nice doesn't he? Friends with Boris, you know. What's not to like?

The Whiffies 2009 - the few, the brave, the crap

Excellence is easy. "Everything in moderation, including moderation". See? A few well-chosen words and everyone's falling over themselves to salute your wit, to admire your perspicacity. With such positive stroking, why wouldn't you go on to churn out more pithy aphorisms and trenchant observations?

But to continue in the face of howls of derision? To persist in the face of near unanimity as to your crapitude? To keep at it when a lesser person would have walked out into the howling virtual wilderness and the cyber snow, never to return?

That, my friends, takes cojones. At the very least, it takes a special kind of stupid.

And with this in mind, we institute the inaugural Whiffies, the very worst of The Guardian's Comment Is Free in 2009. Columnists and columns, commenters and comments, campaigners and politicos who just plain stank the place up.

Worst Contributor

Campbell? Gold? MacShane? You tell us. This award is for consistent awfulness, above and beyond the call of the cheque.

Worst Article

A close fought affair, methinks. It may be the finest fetid flower of a rank columnist or a terrible aberration by an otherwise sane scribbler.

Worst Commenter

Go on. You know you want to. But tell us why.

Worst Comment

Uncalled for. Unconscionable. Ugly.

The Why Oh Why Oh Why? Award

Which article most left you asking 'what was the point of that'?

The Identity Politics Race For Victimhood Award

Fatties? Gingers? Sea kittens?

Least Fertile Field For Debate

I/P? MMGW? Some other collection of capital letters?

The 'Editorial Control? What Editorial Control?' Award

Also known as the Greatest Lapse in CiF judgement this year. What article should never have been written?

The Hatfield-McCoy Inter-Personal Spat Award

BTL-to-ATL hatefest or commenter-on-commenter violence; who's been zooming who, long after both parties have forgotten what the original beef was.

The Max Gogarty Worst BTL Savaging Award

Treatment that shouldn't be meted out anywhere outside of a South American interrogation room. But somehow they deserved it, and you enjoyed it.

And finally...

The Most Glaring Omission Award

What was screaming to be addressed this year on CiF but, for some reason known only to the CiF gods, wasn't.

You can give a nomination in just one or two categories, or call the whole slate. Or add your own. I'm easy. Especially after some cooking sherry. The only rule is: one nomination in each category and if there are honorable mentions to be made in a category, label them as such.

NB: This blog reserves the right to add, withdraw, augment and modify all categories and to chose winners at random due to lack of interest and votes.